That Gawker Guy 'Richard' Uses "Yeah Bitches" "OMG Fools" and "Um" In One Column Causing Nationwide Douchechills

Douchechills, Gawker, Snark Nation, Um, Wiggers

Feel free to be beat up by midgets and run over by a Hummer limo…



  • Yeah bitches. She out. Well, at least her show is done. All My Sons on the Broadway is closing today which means, face it paparazzi!, no more candids of John Lithgow. Reportedly Holmes really likes New York and would maybe like to stay. I mean, what does she really have to get back to? Some dim, dreary, sun-splashed mansion perched high like Adrienne Rich—a Xenu in Solitude—in the hills? Naw, she should stay here with that curious probing daughter of hers. [P6]
  • Um. Do you remember Bobby’s World? Yeah, me too. Anyway. Howie Mandel has a dog, a chihuahua, named Dior. Dior. Dior. [P6]
  • Ray Liotta should be more grateful that someone still recognizes him. [P6]
  • A wind swept up and some church bells rang in the distance. Mrs. Dobson’s cat pawed its face, the Clarkson boy made loop de loops with his toy airplane in his front yard, the grass all brown. A low sun streaked across the sky. The whole town watched in worry. This was the end, some of them knew in the dark, wicked corners of their hearts. At the town meeting, in the gymnasium of the high school, they all smoked cigarettes and drank coffee. Lana Alderson cried softly in the back. She was such a young bride. And always prone to fits of sadness and stomach pains. At the end of the meeting, Old Man Bickersby gave a speech about the nature of time. Then Paris Hilton stood up and said “I didn’t get a boob job.” The next day, all that was left were bones, bleaching in the sun. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Hey may be one of the sexiest people currently in trousers, but Prince Harry is sort of a git. He keeps doing dumb racist things. First it was the Nazi Halloween costume, now he’s calling people towelheads. The fantasies are getting a lot more complicated these days, what with all their earnest discussions and strained compromises. Sigh. [Showbiz Spy]
  • OMG fools!! Fergie, the woman who warbles for the Black Eyed Peas, has married Josh Duhamel, a guy who was on that show Las Vegas and then, um…, uh… he was on that show Las Vegas! They married under magnolias in Malibu. A dove was there. It cried. [Us]
  • Oh dear. Mickey Rourke probably took steroids while filming The Wrestler. When asked about it he said “When I’m a wrestler, I behave like a wrestler.” That may be, I think, taking method acting a bit too far. But, if you’re Mickey Rourke… what have you really got to lose? [NYDN]

Snark Central: Matt Taiibi With Don Imus During The Election

ABC News, Bozell, Campbell Brown, Charlie Gibson, CIA, Colin Powell, Condi Rice, Dan Rather, David Iglesias, FBI, FISA, Fournier, George Tenet, Gonzalez, Grover Nordquist, Guantanamo, Hannity, Hume, Imus, Iran, Judith Miller, Justice Department, Karl Rove, Katrina, Lee Atwater, Limbaugh, Malkin, Maria Bartiromo, Mary Mapes, Matt Drudge, Medved, New York Times, NSA, O'Reilly, Patriot Act, Politico, Prager, Rick Sanchez, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Smerconish, Snark, Taibbi, terrorism, Torture, William Kristol

Part Two